On Finding This Life

by Tammy

When asked what kind of learning approach we follow, I reply that our main focus on education is from the inside out. Our path to finding our homeschooling approach came from the inside out as well. Our long-term practice of educating in a non-school way developed at the same time as our philosophy and perspective on learning.

It boils down to this – no matter what we actually do or what tools we use to educate our children, our daily practice of teaching and guiding stems from our perspective and opinions on how people learn and our understanding of our children, not from an external source or method.

Sure, there are outside influences that shape how we view things, and we might even be taught (teach ourselves) how to approach a certain subject. But taking a natural learning approach, such as letting our children lead and be responsible for their own learning, or using life itself as a guide on when and how to teach “the important stuff”, didn’t happen simply by having the right books, or the right setup or the right schedule. The development of our perspective came first, then came the practical application of learning naturally.

After so many years of being involved in the homeschooling community, I still don’t know exactly what “unschooling” is, or whether or not we really belong in that category. How we got to be where we are today had little to do with what we thought education, or unschooling, “should be”. Instead, we figured out what made sense to us. As we wrapped our heads around how education works, and by watching how our children learn, we came to the conclusion that our views were rarely similar to those that are embraced in school. We didn’t eschew school on purpose, or because we thought it was “bad”. It didn’t fit for us. Living life without school (for the most part anyway) is a good fit for us.

I found that one of the typical approaches of natural learners, or unschoolers, is to allow children to learn at their own pace, and with their own style. What does that look like? Completely impossible to say, because there are so many variables involved, such as learning styles, individual preferences, experience, age, where one lives, how many siblings one has, self-esteem, etc. If someone suggested, “don’t do worksheets” then what about all these unschoolers who use worksheets? Or if I heard the advice, “give them paints and let them go at it, “ what about the children who want their to show them how to do it, or want a book on how to draw? If an unschooling parent claimed, “Don’t make a schedule, live every day off the cuff,” what about the kids who need or want a schedule and go nuts without one? What about the parents who can’t live without a schedule?

It was through many discussions and asking myself lots of hard questions that I realized that all these aforementioned practices do not an unschooler make. Learning without school stems from an understanding or a belief or a perspective that will then translate into a million possible practices, depending on the people involved. Hearing how other people “do” things helped us a little, but what really gave me a good understanding of educating children in a way that would work for us was to ask many people “why do you do things the way you do?” And “How did you come to use certain approaches with your kids?” After we figured out the “how” and the “why”, the “what” came naturally.

Finding a natural learning path involved (and still involves) an intense amount of personal soul searching. In clearing our own path, and discovering our own definition of education, the knowledge of different methods, styles and perspectives helped me see the variety of the educational spectrum out there, but it did not serve as a map or as a “how-to”. It served as a thought provoker, an idea maker, as inspiration. We came into our “unschooling spectrum” lifestyle in the same way that one would become an existentialist, a behaviorist or a libertarian: It happened because that’s what made sense to us. It’s how we see the world of education from where we’re sitting.

How we educate our kids is a perspective before it’s a practice. All homeschoolers might use textbooks, use real-life experience, use lists, use all the different tools available to learn (yes, even unschoolers). The difference to me between an “unschooler” and any other method is not necessarily what we do, but the perspective that got us here in the first place. What we “do” all day is irrelevant. It’s the “why” we do that’s revealing. It’s the “why” behind the practices described in books, elists and websites that explain far more than the actual educational tool itself.

To figure out where we stand on learning perspectives in our family, we focus on being who we are. I then ask myself why I think the way I do about education. How well do I understand my own view of education? What is the point of education? What’s more important; the journey or the destination? Where is the destination? How and when do I know if your kids are successful? When does success start?

As our perspectives change, so do our practices. How do we know if we are unschoolers? A more important question is – does it really matter?

We aren’t unschoolers. We’re Takahashi-ers. We do things our own way. And although many of our practices and perspectives sound a lot like “unschooling”, and we tend to use the term as a shorthand label to sum up our approach without boring the listener with the details, we don’t find importance in whether or not we fall under that category. Our opinions about education are unique to us.

Tammy Takahashi lives and learns with her three children (10, 7 and 4) and supportive husband in California. She is the author of Deschooling Gently: A Step by Step Guide to Fearless Homeschooling. She also serves as the editor of the California HomeSchooler magazine, a bi-monthly publication for the Homeschool Association of California. You can read more from her about education and homeschooling on her website. And you can email her at tammy.takahashi @ gmail(dot)com.

Comments

[Gem]

What awesome perspective! We've been trying an unschooling style, but due to life have had to impose a schedule -- our kids love it! I didn't want to get rigid with it, and we have managed to escape that rut. Thanks for the reminder it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing with any hsing philosophy.

[Steph]

Great post! Our home schooling style is kind of a schooly-unschoolish pushmy-pullyu. *LOL* You have a good point; why does it matter? Why does one need the label? S http://www.momof3feistykids.blogspot.com/