Redefining our Agenda

By Missy

I keep reading these very disturbing opinion pieces, these misinformed diatribes loudly asserting with all confidence why I and the apparent vast majority of all homeschoolers have chosen to step away from the public school system. And I keep looking for myself, digging through these piles of…um…metaphoric excrement and I emerge, occasionally with a small lump of truth, usually with nothing more than a lingering odor. And, frankly, the experience stinks. (ha ha—get it? Stinks? Excrement? Whoops. Sorry. I have a six-year-old.)

So maybe my kid (or his, uh, type) is the reason some people choose to homeschool. My six-year-old would be the child distracting your child’s teacher. He doesn’t like sitting still. He doesn’t like busy work. He doesn’t like "learning" something he’s known for three years and he damn sure doesn’t feel like waiting while another child learns it. There is too much to do, too much to see, too much to learn.

I am a Christian; however, I don’t define myself as a "Christian homeschooler". I don’t subscribe to the "us vs. them and they’re going to burn in hell" mentality. I’m not trying to protect my children from the unsavory non-Christian elements within the public school system. The unsavory Christian elements are frightening enough to warrant flight.

Like a growing number of parents, I don’t homeschool my three children in order to narrow their views or close their minds; I homeschool to open their world.

I’m seeking to offer my children a rounded, full education, not someone else’s agenda.

American textbooks are filled with the same brand of nationalism that we so quickly labeled propaganda in Iraqi schools. It’s simply a manipulated half-truth. The whole truth is never taught because the whole truth is ugly. It’s natural for a country’s education system to gloss gently over historical transgressions, but that "glossing" leaves gaps and, frequently, when children question those gaps, they don’t get answers. They get punished. There isn’t time to explore any subject in-depth and there’s no patience for presumed impertinence.

Even if I can’t give my children the total historical truth, I can offer them the opportunities and resources to explore, to peel back the layers at their own pace.

If they get distracted in one layer, they have the time to wander a little and to delve into history in a way public school students can’t. Teachable moments can explode into weeks. We’re not tied to a schedule, we’re not trying to memorize a list of trivial facts for the SOL’s and we don’t have to break for art or music because there’s always time for that tomorrow. Or after lunch. Or during lunch.

Most homeschoolers I know don’t stay at home. We’re busy with swimming and gymnastics, book clubs, art classes, martial arts, drama. We take advantage of museums and parks; we’re in an area that is saturated with historical significance and our children get to live that history outside of a textbook.

Public schools aren’t designed to meet individualized learning styles. Pressure to excel drives schools to push kids beyond what is developmentally appropriate. Ultimately, students are required to achieve in all subject areas at roughly the same rate, regardless of individual differences. Schools somehow expect the majority of their students to test above average on standardized tests, an expectation that seems to violate the entire concept of average.

I just want more for my kids. I want them to have a confidence in themselves that comes from within, from pursuing true interests that takes root in their gut and grow organically, without systemic modifications. I want them to have the pure, intense joy that comes true learning, from getting down and dirty, from digging either their real or metaphorical nails into something and watching it explode.

Missy's homeschooling journey began when she realized that the walls surrounding her daughter's classroom were too narrow; there was no room for exploration, no space for stretching. Now, she and her three children stretch and explore the world together. My blog: caffeinatedjive.

Comments

[TammyT]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope it helps readers realize the true diversity of homeschoolers and that not all Christian homeschoolers are isolationists. In fact, I'd say, most aren't. I look forward to reading more of your entries.

[Jamie]

It's funny how often people forget to realize that the entire idea of average means that half of all the kids will, necessarily, have to be below average and that only half can be above average.

And yes, thanks, for the non-isolationist commentary. Where I live, the majority of home-schoolers/homeschoolers are very much home-schooling for isolationist religious reasons - and proud to say so. As a non-religious person (reverent agnostic, if you will) I have been excluded (up front) from joining everything from homeschooling groups (required membership in an "approved" Christian church & statement of faith to sign) to simply having kids over to play. Here is an actual quote from someone I met at a park. The kids had a great time playing until the mom learned I was not a Christian and took her kids home. "There's really no point in having Timothy become friends with someone who's damned. You know, won't go to heaven?"

So, again, thanks for reminding me that what I see here is just a local anomaly and not the national norm.

[Steph]

This is an excellent tribute to the wonderful diversity among home schoolers (including home schoolers who happen to be Christians) :-) S http://www.momof3feistykids.blogspot.com/

[Mandy]

I’m not a mom yet but I am planning to home school already, for many of the reasons you have mentioned. It's appealing also because my friends who are home schooling have kids who are learning very well, socially better adjusted than most of my former students and are a delight to be around.

Regarding American textbooks, my experience has been very different. As a substitute teacher I found that a lot of the texts I encountered at the elementary level glossed over very important parts of American history or misrepresented them completely. In some cases they over-emphasized the historical transgressions you mentioned, steering clear of those concurrent events of which we can be proud. Perhaps this is the pendulum swinging the other way or because I live in the Pacific Northwest where anti-Americanism is a firmly held ideal among educators. Parents who are willing to explore the good and the bad, domestic and international history will give their kids a better education than will public schools.

You’re right about kids doing so well when they are free to learn at their own rate. That is my main reason to pursue home school. I thank you for your great points in answer to the question of socialization- that’s the main objection I hear.