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« Bucket-Free | Main | When Competition Becomes Corrosive »

November 26, 2007



This is a wonderful post Linda! I found myself in it, my fears, my insecurities, etc. It feels like the longer we homeschool, the harder it is to find connections for my oldest daughter--many of the homeschoolers we once knew have moved or have enrolled their children in school. When my daughter takes a class she is usually so interested in the class that she doesn't forge any friendships. I used to work very hard to find her more opportunities for friendships, but *she* told me that she is happy with the friends she has and with her siblings so she doesn't want to take a class just to socialize; she wants to take classes that interest her. I still worry, but she is happy so I guess we're good for now.

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone!


Great post, thanks for sharing. You're right about the parent (often mother) connection being important in homeschoolers' friendships. If another mom and I don't click, we don't do playdates at each other's homes-- but, public park days are a different story. I can see how that can be limiting, but I appreciate knowing what the kids are up to and if my child is upset, I am likely to have more of a clue as to why.
I think it just takes awhile to find your niche, and then people move and it changes. But I like to be part of my children's lives (and they like to be part of mine). I enjoy that their friends are the children of my friends - it feels more holistic, more like a community than simply an appointment my child has to play with another child.
Good luck -- I know you will find more friends. Sometimes it takes awhile and the false starts can be very disappointing. But maybe it allows you to avoid future pain by the self selection. For those who truly click, a TV show preference is not enough to divide them.


This is the very first time I've responded to a blog and I doing so because it really touched on the same subjects we deal with. We have lots of kids in our community but few homeschoolers and most kids attend either THE public or THE private school. Birthday parties and other "events" tend to be based on the the "kids in their class" rather than the kids they play soccer with, are in scouts with, choir, dance with or even a list of "friends." "The kids in their class" it is so limiting. It is hard for true friendships to bloom in that kind of enviroment. I'm so glad that we don't have to be a part of it and that when my kids do make friends it will be because they really like someone. That is the basis for a good lasting friendship- not whether or not they had classes together for years. When they need friends, they will know and find them. Thank you for your blog.


If you live anywhere near Kentucky, come on over. We won't be critital of your TV choices or your unschooling. I have an 11 year old daughter too.


This is the subject that I always am brought back to. But like your daughter I think it bothers me more then them. My kids are happy with the friends they have even thought they aren't as close as I remember being with my childhood friends. My kids were always homeschooled so this is all they know but I'm not lieing when I say they are happy and it's me trying to make new friends for them. Also the part about being friends with the whole family is so true and when you find a family with a match up for almost all your kids your friends for life!
thanks for the post it's a subject I hardly seen addressed.

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