Homeschooling a Child with Aspergers

by Dory, Guest Author

I will be beginning this journey of homeschooling in the next few weeks with my precious son who is six and diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism.  I have a background in psychology and education, so I’m not too worried about how things will turn out.  My son is very bright, creative and enthusiastic about learning.  He just doesn’t fit in to the mainstream of public schools.  His abilities are seen there, not as strengths, but as challenges that thus far, public school has not been able to meet. 

As a former public school employee for over 15 years, I never thought I’d be walking down this road, but I’m certain that I made the right choice to do so.  I always thought I would teach, and bring my child to work with me so that I could share his day right there in the moment.  I have always enjoyed my jobs as teacher assistant and substitute teacher, even feeling a “calling” to be there.  At the ripe old age of 35 I decided to pursue a graduate degree in education.  Now I know that my experience and studies will only make this adventure that much more fulfilling.

My child is also, (at the moment), an only child.  One of the areas of concern for Aspie parents is the socialization of their child.  Many Asperger’s kids have difficulty interacting with others, especially same-age peers.  We have joined a local homeschooling group to aid us in this area.  I feel confident that homeschooling will be the perfect fit for us as we can have better control of the social situations that we will encounter.  My son does not have to be bombarded with social interactions that make him uncomfortable. He can determine which activities we participate in and how long we stay.  This makes it a much more positive experience for him as we practice those give-and-take relationships in a smaller group setting.  We also look forward to meeting children of various ages, something that wouldn’t necessarily occur in public school, where kids are corralled into same-age groupings throughout their day.

Another plus to learning at home for Aspies is the flexibility of schedules and material content.  Since my son has an intense interest in construction, I can compose lessons that focus on his area of interest.  Instead of relying solely on paper and pencil worksheets, we can incorporate building blocks, pretend play, and real-life field trips to study his favorite subject across the curriculum.  He will be able to contribute his ideas about subject matter and all I have to do is figure out how to weave it all together!  I can’t imagine the feeling of confidence it will bring him to know that he is creating his own education.  With regard to schedules, most Asperger’s kids do better with some sort of routine.  In fact, it’s sometimes a coping mechanism, as they need that sense of predictability to feel comfortable.  Since we are on our own time clock, I can help him to ease out of some of those rigid ways of thinking and show him that there are other ways to do things.  My son is just now coming to the realization that everyone has their own thoughts and ideas, and this is the perfect opportunity to encourage that type of expanded thinking.  He knows that it is safe to try things a different way at his own pace.  There is so much potential to add these types of “life skills” lessons into our daily routine.

Most children with Asperger’s score above average on IQ tests.  My son has been evaluated by a host of so-called “experts” so that the most appropriate placement for him could be found.  It’s such a relief to know that I’ve finally found it!  He can now work above grade level instead of being bored because he has to do what the other kids are doing.  He can think outside the box without being judged.  His creativity is an asset, not something to be stifled.  He doesn’t require any labels, or “exceptionalities”, as it is euphemistically called.  He can just be who he is, all of the time and run with it. I just hope that I can keep up with him!

I look forward to looking back next year at this time and seeing the progress my son has made because he didn’t have to cope with the stress of too many people, too much stimulation and not enough one-on-one attention.  The gains will be made in academics, yes, but more importantly; I think he will improve in the areas of social skills, self-confidence and in his already-present love for learning.  Homeschooling is such a gift and I am so grateful that my Aspie and I can open it together.

Dory Hubbard is a homeschooling mom (leaning toward unschooling). Her amazing seven-year old boy, Carson, happens to have Asperger's syndrome.  She, her husband Kevin and Carson share their home in Central Florida with their pet Betta, Bluey.

Comments

[Steph]

Thanks for sharing this wonderful post! And many blessings to you and your son on your journey. :-)

My daughter (with Asperger's and Nonverbal Learning Disability) was in public school for 4 years. Based on my own experience -- the worn out "what about socialization" argument should not even be on the table with Aspergian kids. By the nature of their differences, they do not learn social skills by osmosis from being around other kids. (And even if they did -- would the "social skills" modeled by other kids be the kind we'd want them to have? But that's another story). Friendships may be few and hard-won, and are not likely to be nurtured in a room of kids with nothing in common other than proximity of their their physical addresses and their birthdates. And as you mentioned, the chronic sensory overload in a classroom is exhausting.

I look forward to reading more posts from you. :-)

[Maria]

Thank you for writing this post. It is very informative and something I have been thinking about doing also.

He is lucky to have such an awesome mom.

[Tina]

Good for you! I've been unschooling my 7yo Aspie boy for a year now. It has turned out to be the best thing I ever did for him. His stimming behavior disappeared after he left the school environment. He also no longer has the experience of feeling left out on the playground. He can now be his wonderful out of the box self, without the constant anxiety that came with trying to fit in the box. I look forward to hearing more from you, and I encourage you to continue looking into unschooling.

[Deb O'leary]

My son's last day of traditional school was March 14, 2008. That was the day when I said, "Enough!" No more team meetings. No more miserable child.

For now, we are deschooling. It will take time to repair the damage six years of schooling has done to him.

We already seem positive changes. He smiles, he laughs. He is reading and learning every day. I wish you and your son all the best.

[Mandy]

Thank you for your comments on homeschooling a child with AS. My son who just turned 12 has AS. This is the first year we are homeschooling and the comments helped me to feel more confident in my decision. We moved over the past several months and my son hasn't met any new boys to play with. He misses this as he equates friends with school. Any suggestions on helping to ease this new transition?
Thanks!

[Susan Gasca]

I decided to home school my son after the 3rd grade. I didn't know he had AS then, but when I finally figured it out (not through any help of the schools) it made realize I had made the right choice. He has completed the 4th, 5th, and almost 6th grade. He is blooming in ways he never could have done in a regular school. When he is having an off day I can decide what is best for him to do that day. For social activities we did cub scouts and he has since crossed over to Boy Scouts. He is like a different kid. We still of problems, issues etc. but homeschooling has really been the best for him and me. Both of our stress levels have gone down.
Welcome to the homeschooling world. You are going to love it. Your son will love it also.

[Cynthia]

I have a 10 year old son with AS. He was diagnosed after over a year of depression, headaches, sleep issues, evaluations, etc.,.

We removed him from public school 4 months ago. It was the best decision we could have made. He is happier than he has been in over a year. It took about 2 months for him to decompress from all the stress he was dealing with at school: social issues, sensory issues etc.,. He has met some wonderful kids (some with AS, some without) through homeschool group activities and classes. He also attends a weekly social skills group. Now he is starting to look forward to all the things we can do at home. Learning is fun again!

I am even considering bringing my 12 year old daughter home next year because of all the wonderful opportunities that are available to homeschoolers.

[Tammy Harris]

I have a seventeen yr old son, with AS we found out he had AS December 07' he had such difficulty with school and fitting in that the anxiety was just to much. He went from a A student to straight F's, he suddenly became ill, headaches, diarrhea, stomach pain, all due to anxiety. After going to the doctor and his therapist, I pulled him out of school and started on-line schooling. Again he just could not concentrate on subjects being taught. He loves computer programming and everything he does has to be about computers, he has become so obsessed that it's all I can do to get him out of his room. The only time we see him is when he comes out to eat or go to the bathroom. He is on medication, and sees his doctor regularly but he has just gotten more and more obsessed with programming. We discussed homeschooling, but he cannot concentrate on anything else but computers and programming. I tried to do other subjects using the computer thinking that he would get through his schooling if we work around the computer. NOT WORKING!!! At this point he is going to go take a test to acquire his GED. I wish he was diagnosed at an earlier age and that I knew about AS back when he was younger, homeschooling would have made such a big difference in his life and the way he perceives the outside world. I wish everyone luck, I know homeschooling would have made everything different in our lives,it would have given my son the opportunity to grow finding his own strengths to build on. I have not given up, I will help him to succeed and so will you. Hang in there you are doing the right thing!

Tammy Harris, Harrisville, Utah

[RamonGustav]

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