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April 25, 2008


Angela, MotherCrone

I've encountered this for years, and I have been told that homeschooling is counter-community. But I think homeschooling is just an outward sign of a bigger issue here. I have lost friends because they felt my willingness to choose the best path for my child, despite any sacrifices it cost us was a constant reminder of their own selfishness. I gladly set aside things like my career or a second income and all it brings in cars, vacations, and extras. Many aren't so willing to do the same, even if their children are struggling and are miserable. One former friend outright told me that everytime she was around us, she could imagine a better way for her kids, so it was better to just not be around us. Others aren't as in touch with their own truth, so they instead try to turn our truth around on us. It's rather sad, because I am the first to admit this lifestyle is not for everyone.


I think Angela hits the nail on the head. A lot of people would rather believe that they didn't have a choice. Then they don't have to face the fact that they could have chosen something different that might work better for their kids. Which is related to your point that maybe they know that PS is harming their kids (I disagree that the harm is mostly from peers, I think the system itself does intellectual harm to a lot of people). If they think they have no options, then they don't have to make any difficult decisions.

That means that the defensive rant isn't about anything that we've done. It is a projection of their own self-criticism.

Clean Simple

That smacks of the guilt breastfeeding moms are accused of inspiring in formula feeding moms--that one person's choice means another one's is somehow wrong. Frankly, I think the guilt comes from insecurity about whether one made the right choice.

We're a public school family who had intended to homeschool. We were all set to...then decided to see if our daughter could get into the one school in the district that was close to our learning philosophy. What do you know, she got in and loved it. Every once in a while, I wonder if we made the right choice. But my child's happiness and learning trump my personal angst any day.

Great post!

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