by Jena
If you decide to home school, you'll find that everyone is concerned about the socialization of your children. Complete strangers will make comments and relatives will sincerely worry your kids are suffering from lack of socialization. But in all honesty, the socialization issue convinced me to home school.
From the Encyclopedia Britannica: Socialization: the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society). According to most social scientists, socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behavior, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children.
From The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy:
socialization
Learning the customs, attitudes, and values of a social group, community, or culture. Socialization is essential for the development of individuals who can participate and function within their societies, as well as for ensuring that a society's cultural features will be carried on through new generations. Socialization is most strongly enforced by family, school, and peer groups, and continues throughout an individual's lifetime. (See also acculturation.)
Socialization is a life-long pursuit of learning how to function in your world, wherever that might be. But are schools the best place or the only place a child can be socialized?
What might my child learn from this daily, weekly, monthly experience? I think he'd learn to pass notes when the teacher isn't looking. I think he'd learn ways around the system that keeps him sitting still and quiet for hours, trying to focus on things he's not interested in. I think he'd bond with kids his age because they are all trapped in the same system, with no voice for real change, trying to make the best of their situation. That bonding would alienate him from kids in "other groups," and he'd learn to resent the adult in the room. If that sounds too negative, a good student who seems to cope well in school learns to "play the game" to get the grades and teacher recommendations to get into a good college. He also learns to view his peers as competition and probably won't be too willing to help them succeed. Eventually, he finishes 12th grade and graduates. He'll probably go on to college, where he'll experience a little more freedom in his day. In fact, he'll probably be so relieved that he'll have to fight the "caged animal set free" syndrome I see everyday here in my university town. Then finally, graduation from college and on to a job! But wait, at his job he won't switch topics every 50 minutes. And he'll have to talk to and relate to people of all ages. In fact, that same-aged peer group has now scattered. He's on his own, skilled at bucking the system but not improving it, and forced to make decisions when most of his life has been dictated for him. Where's the preparation and "socialization" in that? I had (and continue to have) other concerns about doing school the traditional way. I wonder about personality numbing, that phenomenon that occurs after a few years of schooling when your playful child becomes afraid to show his true self to his peers. I see it as a rainbow becoming shades of gray so it blends in and won't draw attention to itself. I also wonder about unhealthy coping mechanisms that go undetected because parents aren't around their kids during the day and because teachers have their hands full. And I am concerned about over-worked, disrespected teachers who are poorly paid and expected to perform miracles with thirty kids of various abilities.

Jena began homeschooling in 1994. Her three children are now teenagers; one is graduated and attends the University of Chicago on a full ride scholarship, the next one is 16 and pursues life without school in the arts, and the youngest is a freshman, trying out public school for the first time. In 2005 they bought a 7000 square foot church building and converted it into their home. You can read more about their adventures on her blog, yarns of the heart.
Well said! This is one of the reasons I choose to homeschool too. I want my kids to have real socialization, not the artificial kind that comes from being trapped in a brick bubble all day long.
Posted by: Summer | February 19, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Thanks for a wonderful site. I am linking you as a resource on my website for future studies and alternatives in education: www.earlyfutures.com
Long live!
xo
Heidi
Posted by: Heidi | February 22, 2009 at 05:07 PM
Exactly why I chose to home educate as well.
"I've seen the village and I don't want it raising my son!"
Posted by: Swylv | February 24, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Great description of the socialization issue. That's always the first question those who are anti-homeschooling bring up. It's really a non-issue in the big scheme of things. So what if my son or daughter isn't aware of the latest pop cultural trends. I don't think this is a bad thing. Especially since the majority of pop cultural news is negative, and something I want to keep my children away from.
Posted by: homeschoolcollegecounselor.wordpress.com | October 07, 2009 at 04:36 PM
Yes, we too have chosen to home-school for a massive variable of reasons; BUT a very important one being to AVOID was the public-school 'socialization', the bullying, the segregation from society AND most importantly family/parents....the peer reliance and pressure, cliques and nowdays the all too present and all to real dangers/drugs/sex/violence. Outsiders and those who want to stereotype and judge can do so, I used to care, but now I couldn't care less; we are doing what's best for OUR son/and WE are 100% confident that it is the right choice for him given so many vital factors. Great article/post! :)
Posted by: ANIKA | October 31, 2010 at 01:05 PM